No one meets your search criteria


As I sit here pondering why it takes 20 minutes to microwave a 7 minute potato, I thought I would do a search for a friend from High School. I've been searching for this person since I last saw her at our 10 year reunion. Can't find her, don't know where she went! VANISHED, but that's another story.

Anyway, so this is the millionth time I've tried to find her on Myspace/facebook whatever, I'm eagerly waiting for the results when the computer tells me "No one meets your search criteria". I'm sad and not just because there is still no one on myspace that matches her, but that is sooo true in my love life (or lack there of).

I have yet to meet a guy that meets my search criteria. I'm 30 now people. Although I did just recently drink from the fountain of youth in Norway...Times a flying and I'm not getting any younger. I thought to myself maybe I should widen my search..but then I thought of my past history of men.

It goes as follows in no order and I'm sorry if I leave you out. You just didn't mean that much to me.

1. A guy that worked the midnight shift at Ace car rental?!
2. A bi-polar crackhead that bought me a "love fern that would never die like our love" He was right about the plant.
3.A porn addicted, Hugh Grant wanna-be that I had at hello
4. A nice guy that refused to believe his dog shed until Ev and I threaten to take him to Montel for a "DNA" test!
5. An emotionally unavailable guy that was still blaming his mom for not getting him the Nintendo power pad when he was 10.
6. The waste of space that didn't tell me he had a kid for a good 4 months!!

The list goes on. I've dated more the my fair share of douche bags. I'll write you a book about it one day.

But what now? B/c I'm older do I give a little here and there. I can truly only tolerate so much. Forever is a very long time and I didn't stay single through my first divorce to marry a loser. So here is my search criteria, my not so personal ad-

Wanted: Emotionally available man ages 30-35ish, 6ft or taller, that makes me laugh so hard milk comes out my nose. Someone that will humor me in my crazy ideas while coming up with some of his own! Someone that is always learning and achieving. A man that realizes my family has an almost obsessive need to spend time together and respects it. (enjoying it would be an added bonus) Colts season ticket holder a must!

My friend's mom once told me, if there was a perfect man out there don't you think I would've married him, already? I know there is on one else in the world (besides me) that's perfect. I just want perfect for me!

OK, I'm done rambling and my potato is finally done...

Until next time,
Coco

PS If you know Amanda (Ash) Brandt- let her know I'm looking for her!